Fifth Poem: One Man Band

As my head explodes with thoughts, I remember you.
How you looked, how you sounded, how you felt.
I pray you are well, and try to go to sleep,
but the more I think, the more tears gather in my eyes.
I look to your picture to comfort me, but my thoughts drain it out.
The picture gets foggy, as if a shower door is separating me from you,
and all my memories.
Warm water then runs down my cheek and wets my dry lips.
I sob, all alone, with only my memories wishing you here.
The pain throbs in my heart, as if the emptiness is ringing out;
"I am here forever more!"
I try to sleep, but thelonelinessis calling me,
telling me to remember you,
to think of your love andfatherliness.
I think of all the things I could of done to make me feel better.
This is not a time for someone to comfort me.
I need to be in this alone, with no one to say,
"He's in a better place", or
"He always will love you."
I need to help myself.
I'm a big girl.
I am a one man band.
For now.